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THE HARVESTING OF HAYSTACKS KANE
THE HARVESTING OF HAYSTACKS KANE is the story of a 607-pound professional wrestler, born Herschel Cain in Brooklyn, New York, who has been gravely injured in a match with his archrival and long-time nemesis and is lying in his hospital bed (indeed two beds, lashed together) immobilized and unable to speak, attempting to figure out what has happened, both in the more immediate sense and over the longer course of his life--and what to do about it.
Shirley and Haystacks
from "THE HARVESTING OF HAYSTACKS KANE"
- Oh, Herschel—I came as soon as I heard…My God—you should have called me at least. It hasn't been that long. You could have had somebody--
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- I ran right over. I didn't even bother to put on makeup and you know I never--
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- I must look like a wreck.
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- Anyway, I'm here.
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- How long has it been anyway?…Almost a year, I think. A year since we--
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- Well…
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- Private, I see. Or is it semi? Private is always preferable, of course, but—What's that behind that curtain, another bed? God that odor is strong, you don't think they'd—oh God…Really, Herschel, it's quite a cheerful room…Celery, isn't it? Very attractive…It could do with some fixing up of course, some pretty curtains perhaps that shade is atrocious but it's--ugly and it stinks revolting
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- Herschel, are you all right, you look…
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- I've brought you some Jujyfruits, I know how much you like them…They're here somewhere in my bag if I can just--find them Shirley don't touch anything
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- There. I'll put them here on the table where you can reach them.
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- There…
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- How do you like it by the way?…The bag…I picked it up at Bergdorf's when I bought the dress. It's genuine alligator. Look at how it shines…Touch it, Herschel, feel the inside, the label. Here, I'll--your hand is like ice so limp ugh fishy